Mannia

Words

collections of short narratives, rewritten episodes, & jovial cynicism

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#!3: I'm still talking to myself

"...I can plan on being a good person–because I want that to be a given. I don't want that to be questionable. But I can't plan on the heinous person I'm capable of... I don't want that to be possible. I can't even fathom that person's existence, let alone the destruction she could create...

...I look at him now and I see the one person on this earth I couldn't possibly hurt, no matter what. But one day I could. One day I might want to, whatever I tell myself now. And one day, I won't be able to recall this feeling, and I will do something... regrettable. Because I can. Love is blind, ignorance a bliss, and denial is the pretty packaging we wrap them in as self sufficient gifts and I. love. presents. So do I plan now, while I'm still the person I believe myself to be, for the day I deteriorate into the person I'm capable of? Or do we weave this tightrope without a safety net, so there are no thoughts of falling?

 

Tatyana Mann